"Swallowed into a Sexy Abyss"

"The disruption in your life is making my life intolerable."

"It's like a disco-ball on your face."

"I love you, but I am so glad you are going out because I can't be bothered to listen to you all night."

"I just look at it, and have to shit."

"I just remembered that I peed behind a bush last night on my date."

"I can't leave my organics on the kitchen counter, but you can leave your scab on the coffee table... That's it!  I'm calling a family meeting."

"She's special, stoned and stupid...like us."

"We aren't that beautiful in real life."

"I'm not cut out for this work shit."

"You have a cat, I have a social life."

"I drank so much I made myself puke.  Now that's sophisticated."

"I'll take the silver spoon every time."

"Drink up now because I've got no booze at home."

"I'm soooo easy, just buy me wine or chocolate."

"I say clever shit all the time."

"This is why time pisses me off."

"I will share my bed with you... but NOT my chocolate."

"I am also coming back from set-backs, having two children."

"This blanket must be knit by the Gods."